Bikini Goddesses

If David DeCoteau doesn’t already have enough to answer for, Seduction Cinema is forcing us to learn of his horriffic early-’90s softcore Romanian crap-festival known as Bikini Goddesses.

We will admit to fast-forwarding through the numerous, lengthy ‘sex scenes,’ as the will to live remained at least stronger this tripe.

We also consider it a mark of reviewing integrity that we absorbed so little of the plot in our rush to get it over with that we can only say it involves a spoiled American college student on a working vacation in Greece, during which he repeatedly has sex with three Greek Goddesses.

So if you’re still game, settle in for 80 minutes of poor acting, questionable ‘90s fashions, crummy ‘90s porno music, endless musical montages of girls dancing in bikinis and plenty of unconvincing softcore sex. For fun try to see if there’s a pattern to the six sex-positions that the actors doggedly cycle through.

For even more fun walk away from Bikini Goddesses and do absolutely anything else.

DVD Features

Bikini Goddesses comes (no pun intended) on the Seduction Cinema DVD of Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet, and even though it’s just the lowly back-up feature,sports a Director’s Commentary track. On said track you’ll learn more of DeCoteau’s life than you’d ever want to know, and that even shlock directors take the movie making process very seriously.