Video Sewer Christmas Wish List:
o Paying job
o Cable TV
That way, we can bask in the groovyness that is Masters Of Horror. On the other hand, watching these shows on TV doesn't give you the boatloads of extras that you get on DVD.
But I'm getting way ahead of myself, and also trampling any shred of readability.
So, the treat of the week is Dario Argento's Jenifer, from the Masters Of Horror series. Adapted from a justly notorious Creepy comic story by Bruce Jones and Berni Wrightson, Argento's filmed Jenifer totally crushes in awesome glory.
Right, listen, don't expect good writing here, OK?
Steven Weber amazes as both a tongue-in-cheek horror actor and the screenwriter of Jenifer, which tells the tale of a monstrous chickee with a smokin' hot bod, a knack for eliciting pathetic sympathy, and an appetite for sex and intestines in equal measure. When cop Frank Spivey (Weber) takes lustful pity on Jenifer, he ignores the fact that the last man she was with was trying to chop her head off with a cleaver. Plus, Spivey's wife doesn't dig the fact that he's offering up their abode to a nude freak.
I mean, is this not what every horror lovin' boy has ever wanted? Which is of course the question most viewers must ask - all while they are reveling in the ample nudity, gore and overall hell-bent-for-leather attitude. To wit: would you do her, even she has a face that looks like a semi-smashed opossum's, and your cats innards drooling out of her mouth?
Carrie Fleming as Jenifer plumbs the depths of animal lust as only a true feral beast in heavy makeup can. Argento's legendary style is not on display here, but his sure hand, deft pacing and fearless mien is, in force. Jenifer is brisk and over-the-top, never really scary, but always disturbing and hilarious in equal parts.
Inveterate sickos and other horror fans would be hard-pressed to find a more enjoyable horror hour than that offered up by Jenifer's luscious bosom.
The DVD also boasts a gut full of extras, more than the Sewer was able to take in before the rental clock was up, including Director's commentary track, numerous interviews and featurettes, storyboard-to-screen comparisons and 'what have you'. Of note is the inclusion of excised scenes that, while they highlight Argento's supreme FA attitude, would have stopped the show: a graphic version of Jenifer giving head to Spivey, and an even more graphic shot of Jenifer chewing up an unfortunate teen's block and tackle …
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| Yeah, pretty hot, and looks good in bed, eh? |
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| But she fits nicely in Argento's world of Horror. |
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| And she might accidentally do this to your neighbor! |