The Ring Virus

Horror fans that haven’t seen any other versions of the Ring saga floating around (including Rings 2 and 0) may get a slight charge out of this effort, but they will have to work at it. The Ring Virus is a joint Japanese and Korean production, and the Sewer found it interesting mostly for the ways in which it points up the similarities and differences between the cultures.

That is your assignment, kind reader, watch The Ring Virus and write me a 5 paragraph essay outlining the similarities and differences between Japanese and Korean culture. The paragraphs should be at least 100 words long, including the introductory and concluding paragraphs. You may email me your completed essays within seven days of reading this review, or you know what will happen. While you’re at it, include a few lines on why in hell anyone would want to watch The Ring Virus.

Firstly, the film, while ‘remaining true to the original Ring novel,’ assumes that anyone watching is familiar with that work or at least the other Ring movies. Look out if you aren’t in the loop, because no explanation is offered as to why weird things start happening, or even what those weird things are.

As the mystery unfolds, blinding light from the garishly colored sets will keep you awake and in a state I call unfear, or baffled exasperation. Wash that down with performances that I call unimpassioned and a horrifying climax that moves along with the pace and terror of a Yu-Gi-Oh! cartoon. Top it off with the ultimate image of horror (shrill and effective in Nakata’s version) that, while whipping by in a microsecond, looks like your kid brother turning his eyelid inside out.

I hate when they do that, it grosses me out.

The Ring Virus is mostly boring and hard to follow, not even worth it for fanatics to enjoy.